I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and has the courage to develop that potential. From coporations, nonprofits, and public sector organizations to governments, activist groups, schools, and faith communities, we desperately need more leaders who are committed to courageous, wholehearted leadership and who are self-aware enough to lead from their hearts, rather that unevolved leaders who lead from hurt and fear.

The foundational skill of courage-building is the willingness and ability to rumble with vulnerability. Without this core skill, the other three skill sets (Living into Our Values, Braving Trust, Learning to Rise) are impossible to put into practice. Consider this carefully: Our ability to be daring leaders will never be greater than our capacity for vulnerability.

Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead. So often we think of courage as an inherent trait; however it is less about who people are, and more about how they behave and show up in difficult situations. Fear is the emotion at the center of that list of problematic behaviors and culture issues it’s precisely what you’d expect to find as the underlying barrier to courage. However, all the daring leaders we interviewed talked about experiencing many types of fear on a regular basis, which means that feeling fear is not the barrier. The true underlying obstacle to brave leadership is how we respond to our fear. The real barrier to daring leadership is our armor-the thoughts, emotions and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when we aren’t willing and able to rumble with vulnerability…Practicing self-compassion and
having patience with ourselves are essential in the process.

As I often tell teachers-some of our most important leaders-we can’t always ask our students to take off the armor at home, or even on their way to school, because their emotional and physical safety may require self protection. But what we can do, and what we are ethically called to do, is create a space in our schools and classrooms where all students can walk in and, for that day or hour, take off the crushing weight of their armor, hang it on a rack, and open their heart to truly being seen.

“We must be guardians of a space that allows students to breathe and be curious and explore the world and be who they are without suffocation. They deserve one place where they can rumble with vulnerability and their hearts can exhale. and what I know from the research is that we should never underestimate the benefit to a child of having a place to belong-even one-where they can take off their armor. It can and often does change the trajectory of their life.”